Well, it's official, IVF #5 ended negatively. I had a little bit of spotting on Friday morning, and I tested on a hpt Friday night. The test was stark white. Mark and I decided that I would just go in for my beta test on Saturday morning. It was no surprise when the nurse called and said "I'm sorry."
Yesterday was hard. We had our families over for Rosh Hashannah dinner. I guess in some ways, being so focused on getting everything ready helped to not break down. My nieces and nephew were over last night and it just reminded me of how badly I too want a family.
I think this failure hit Mark harder than the others. This was the one that was supposed to work. We traveled to Mexico for LIT, I was drug free for the transfer, I did acupuncture, and yet, it still didn't work. We definitely need some answers.
I have to wait until October 8, to meet with our RE again. At this point, I have to insist on some additional testing. I mean, there is a definite problem here. We can't just be that unlucky 5 times. I'm also a bit disappointed with my last half fresh cycle. I only stimmed for 7 days, which might have contributed to the issue.
Regardless, this is going to be a very hard week for me. I seem to be fine by night time, but every morning that I get up, I'm reminded that I'm still not pregnant, and I can barely get out of bed. I guess the key is to just keep very busy. I can start exercising again, and we are hanging out with good friends next weekend. I'm also giving up acupuncture, as it clearly is not the answer for me.
If anyone reading this has dealt with IVF failures, please post on ways that you are coping. I'm always up for suggestions.
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