Nil, Nada, Negative!

Well, as you can tell by the title of this entry, our 6th IVF cycle also resulted in a big fat nothing. We took this one pretty hard. A day before my beta, I was extremely dizzy and nauseous. We both took that as a huge sign that I was pregnant. I had never felt that way before in all our prior cycles. Oh well, guess I just had a funky response to my prometrium this time around.

To be truthful, it's getting harder and harder to head down this path. People keep telling me how strong I am, but I really don't feel like a strong woman right now. We will take a needed break, and hopefully, at the start of the new year, we will be ready to pursue another cycle at another clinic.

I feel like I have made some poor choices with fertility clinics, and that Mark and I need to change our "3 strikes and you're out" mentality. We really should have left both clinics after 2 cycles. I guess hindsight is 20/20.

I'm taking this week to grieve and to focus on having a nice time with my family over the holiday weekend. I'll start making phone calls next week to see what I can do to make cycling in North Jersey easier. Hopefully, SIRM is ok with my doing monitoring appointments at a local office, and hopefully, there is a local office willing to let me get monitoring done there.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Thanks again for your words of encouragement.

10 Days Post 5 Day Transfer

And, still haven't POAS (peed on a stick) or gone in for my beta. I got really nervous last night when I started getting bad cramps after dinner. They continued until today. I feel much better right now, and really don't know if it's AF coming, the chocolate mousse I ate last night, or pregnancy symptoms.

No spotting as of yet, which is a good sign. I'm still dizzy, tired, slightly crampy, and fat ; - ). I really hope I get good news on Monday, but know that I must prepare for the bad news.

I appreciate everyone that's been cheering for Mark and I. You mean more to us than you know. Keep those good vibes coming!

Things that Make You Go, HMMM...

I had my embryo transfer on Wednesday. I'm still in shock that we were able to go to a 5 day transfer. We had Dr. Amui perform it (who was one of the 2 doctors that our RE had recommended we use for the transfer). I can't even believe how easy it was. In fact, I didn't feel a thing, and when they were all done, I couldn't believe it. I think that the key to my transfers is getting the amount of water correct. They recommend 32 ounces, but that's incredibly too much. I think I do best with about 16 ounces of water for a transfer.

Anyway, I had a good and a fair quality blastocyst transferred. And, we were even able to have one left to freeze. Amazing.

Here is what I find so interesting. The 2 blastocysts that we transferred were the 7 and 9 cell embryos from Monday. The 5 cell embryo never developed into anything, and my frozen blast from another cycle just degenerated after the thaw. Of the two 8 celled embryos that would have been transferred if we had gone with the 3 day….1 crapped out by day 5, and the other was a little slow, but that was the one that we were able to freeze on day 6. I find this amazing. Had we transferred both 8 celled embryos on day 3, one never would have made it. So, I like that we at least increased our chances that way.

And, the awesome news is that out of 5 embryos, 3 survived to blasts and they were all of fair to good quality. So, this was definitely a learning experience. I go in on Saturday for my progesterone check, and my beta will be on November 23.

IT'S ON!

Got our final call from embryology today. Things are looking good, and I'm sure that I made the right decision to push for a 5 day transfer. Out of the 5 embryos that we had dividing yesterday, one stalled at 5 cells, but the other 4 are morulas. That means that 4/5 are exactly where they should be on day 4. I'm so excited. We still have a frozen embryo, but we want them to thaw it out, and compare it to the other 4. Tomorrow morning, the embryologist will pick the best 2 out of the bunch, and if possible, freeze the rest.

So, here is what we did differently this cycle (a recap):

Endometrial biopsy to irritate the lining and make it more receptive for implantation
Intralipid infusion (also to aid in implantation)
LIT (I had it done in August, but it's good for 5 months)
5 day transfer (we have NEVER done a blast transfer in all 5 of our previous cycles)
Changing the catheter used for transfer.

I'm trying REALLY hard not to get too excited, as we have a lot of failures under our belts, but I felt like we gave it our all this time around. If it doesn't work, we need to figure out if it's an immune issue or a chromosomal issue, and then make some tough decisions.

Did I Make the Right Decision?

I got the call from embryology today. All 5 embryos are dividing. we have two 8 cell, a 9 cell, a 7 cell and a 5 cell. We also have a day 6 blast on ice. I told the embryologist that we would push it for a 5dt.

I'm extremely nervous about my decision. What if we have extremely crappy blasts, or not even blasts but morulas? ugh.

The only things making me think that this was the right decision is that this is ivf 6, we have never done a blast transfer before, and after talking to a SIRM doctor, it seems like 5day is the way to go.

I hope this was the right decision. I will hear from embryology tomorrow morning. As long as we have at least one blast to transfer on Wednesday, I'll be ok!

Fertilization Report

Got the call from Cooper this morning. Out of our 7 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized with ICSI. This is what we expected, and I'm ok with this news.

I did talk to the embryologist about the possibility of doing a 5 day transfer. We both agreed that if, come Monday morning, our embryos are still thriving, we can push for a 5 day transfer. We also have a frozen blast from an earlier IVF cycle, so we are looking at 6 embryos right now. The truth is that we will most likely be having our transfer on Monday and not Wednesday. I'm not that upset anymore, as we will still have something to transfer.

So, send good embryo growing vibes my way. Who knows, maybe we can get to a 5 day transfer.

Will Things Ever Look Up?

I went into egg retrieval expecting at least 10 eggs. When I met with the doctor, pre-ER, she even said that we would probably get 12 eggs. Imagine my extreme disappointment when I was back in recovery and was told that they got 7 eggs. Not only that, but apparently 3 of my other follicles had already released eggs before I went to retrieval. Don't ask me what happened to the other 5 follicles that I had that weren't mentioned.

I know that it only takes one, but here is why I'm so upset. One of the things that were desperate to try this cycle was a 5dt. Our RE doesn't usually do them, but he said that we should try for it this time around. Embroyology won't do it unless you have at least 8 embryos. We have one blast on ice...the only way we could go to a 5dt is if all 7 eggs retrieved were mature and fertilized. That's VERY unlikely.

I'm trying to stay positive, but this cycle just seems to be going downhill fast : (

I'm getting my fertilization report tomorrow, but at this point, I'm not holding my breath.

Triggering Tonight, Egg Retrieval on Friday

Well, I am triggering for IVF #6 tonight. I didn't think I'd be excited at all this cycle, but things seem to be going well. My ride was very bumpy in the beginning. I had a lead follicle and I was afraid that I would get canceled or told to trigger with HCG early. Well, today is stim day 9, and I have 15 measurable follicles, with my E2 level at 2750. I haven't had this good of a cycle since my second cycle at South Jersey (which was in the Summer of 2008).

If we can get double digit eggs at the retrieval, I will be ecstatic. Of course, that's just one part of the puzzle. We are hoping to get to a 5 day transfer. And if not, then we have a whole host of things that they will be doing for a 3dt.

I told myself that I wouldn't be optimistic with this cycle, and just focus on moving to a different doctor, but with my cycle improving the way it did, I can't help but be a little hopeful.

Wish me luck….who knows, maybe it will be lucky number 6.