Well, as you can tell by the title of this entry, our 6th IVF cycle also resulted in a big fat nothing. We took this one pretty hard. A day before my beta, I was extremely dizzy and nauseous. We both took that as a huge sign that I was pregnant. I had never felt that way before in all our prior cycles. Oh well, guess I just had a funky response to my prometrium this time around.
To be truthful, it's getting harder and harder to head down this path. People keep telling me how strong I am, but I really don't feel like a strong woman right now. We will take a needed break, and hopefully, at the start of the new year, we will be ready to pursue another cycle at another clinic.
I feel like I have made some poor choices with fertility clinics, and that Mark and I need to change our "3 strikes and you're out" mentality. We really should have left both clinics after 2 cycles. I guess hindsight is 20/20.
I'm taking this week to grieve and to focus on having a nice time with my family over the holiday weekend. I'll start making phone calls next week to see what I can do to make cycling in North Jersey easier. Hopefully, SIRM is ok with my doing monitoring appointments at a local office, and hopefully, there is a local office willing to let me get monitoring done there.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Thanks again for your words of encouragement.
Hindsight is always 20/20. I wish I would have made changes earlier on, too, but try not to dwell on it.
ReplyDeleteThe truth of the matter is that you ARE incredibly strong, even though you may not feel like it now. I mean, there are people who would give up after IVF #1, or not even try it at all. And look at you, 5 IVFs later with hope and fight still in you.
I am thankful that you have other options as far as clinics go. Maybe that's the answer... better doctors and different ways of doing things.
Hugs to you, my friend. I am glad you'll be spending time with your family and taking a breather. And next year, you'll kick IF's ass!
xoxo
I'm so sorry...i was so hoping this was it for you. Don't give up. It will happen for you!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear. We just started our first IVF cycle and we are currently going to a clinic 2 hours away. The clinic has been great at letting me get my blood drawn at a local LabCorp, for a extra fee. It's been totally worth it. Best Wish in finding a new clinic!
ReplyDeleteit's ok to grieve and get down, as long as you can pick yourself back up and i think you can. it's harder, it gets harder with each cycle that isn't fruitful, but i believe your time will come. good luck, keep us posted. i've read/heard good things about sirm and maybe a change of venue will do some good. i'm keeping our fingers crossed for 2010, i think it will be a good year for both of us :)
ReplyDeleteI read your news on The Nest. I'm so sorry. It seems like, if nothing else, after 6 tries you and your DH have earned a BFP. If only it worked like that. :(
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you've got your heart set on SIRM but we're from Ohio and are traveling to cycle at CCRM and are pretty happy there...
I am so sorry to hear about this. Please let me know if you want to talk about any of this stuff like for real, on the phone. Lots of lvoe to you and Mark. You are stronger than you think; I know what you mean when you say that. Hang in there. Give your mind and body a much-needed break. Enjoy the holidays with your families and friends.
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